If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize