It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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