Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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