its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
