3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
