You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Edward fifth and chaser hands
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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