im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
