a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Verdict: uncircumcised.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
