i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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