Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
