He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
