Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
