but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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