i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
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