If that was your dad, he is hot
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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