And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
