So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
