Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Less talking, more tequila
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
