you guys were way drunker than both of me
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
