He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
