What did we do last night that was yellow?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
