Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
