Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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