she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
