You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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