Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I want to walk on stilts...naked
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
