I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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