That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
