Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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