why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
