The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
