You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
