I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
