i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
