everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
