and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
