somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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