im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
