all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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