I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
