Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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