My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
