He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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