Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
