i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
