I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
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