just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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