You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
