Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
