i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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