he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
