thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
