I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
i believe in u and ur pee
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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