Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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