It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
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