Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
