im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
