apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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