Kiss
Puke
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
