I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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