Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize