Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
